An Irish man who moved to Melbourne for work before relocating to a remote town in the Northern Territory has spoken out about the ‘stark’ differences between urban and regional life in Australia.
Ben, who arrived in Victoria in November, said he ‘absolutely loved’ Melbourne – a refreshing take amid growing reports of expats struggling with loneliness in big cities.
‘There’s so much to do, nice places to eat and gorgeous parks. The thing that struck me the most though was how relaxed, friendly and nice everyone was. I’ve been to a lot of big cities worldwide and usually they aren’t as friendly as Melbourne,’ he said.
He contrasted it with London, which he described as colder due to ‘the pressures and dangers of a city’.
But when Ben moved to a remote part of the NT for regional visa work, he said the reception was completely different.
‘My god it couldn’t be more the opposite,’ he said.
‘People here are so unfriendly, rude, and downright trying to catch you out at every turn.’
He claimed locals had mocked his accent, telling him to ‘speak English properly’, and reported hearing foul language, overt racism, and blatant homophobia.
Ben, who arrived in Victoria in November, said he ‘absolutely loved’ Melbourne – a refreshing take amid growing reports of expats struggling with loneliness in big cities
When Ben moved to a remote part of the NT for regional visa work, he said the reception was completely different
‘Any tiny mistake is met with “you f**ked it up mate”,’ he said, adding he’d ‘never seen anything like it’.
Ben noted that while swearing is common in Ireland, he felt it carried a different tone in the outback.
‘There’s easygoing swearing and there’s hostile and childish swearing… it’s definitely the latter,’ he said.
The experience led him to pose a question to Australians:
‘Are you actually nicer in the cities than in the countryside? What makes Australia the opposite of most countries in this regard? Is it to do with the extreme remoteness and isolation of the outback?’
‘This isn’t just a rant… I’m genuinely curious,’ he added.
Australians were quick to respond on Reddit. One woman, who grew up in country Victoria, described rural towns as ‘little isolated bubbles of similar views’.
‘The city, on the other hand, is a melting pot of different views. I’ve found country towns to be more relaxed, but more racist and homophobic. The city still has that, but because it’s less isolated, you get a more balanced and overall accepting view,’ she said.
‘This isn’t just a rant… I’m genuinely curious,’ Ben added (stock image)
Another echoed the sentiment: ‘The only way to stay in a country town is to suppress your own opinions – especially as a newcomer. That’s why I left. In the city I felt freedom.’
Others recalled similar experiences. A man who grew up in Darwin said moving to a small outback mining town at 16 was eye-opening.
‘They’re friendly to “out of towners” as long as they’re just visiting. If you live there and you want to get anywhere in a town that uses gossip as a form of social currency, you absolutely have to reject your own views and become like them,’ he claimed.
‘Even then, you will always be viewed as some kind of outcast, because you weren’t born there and aren’t related to everyone. Your interests and history will be dismissed because it’s not their interests or history.’
Hundreds agreed with Ben’s take, with one adding: ‘Even the kinder towns can be socially ignorant.’
Another, who had lived ‘everywhere’, from tiny towns of 300 people to capital cities, said: ‘The positives and negatives are amplified in regional areas because there’s less noise for it to hide in.’
Not everyone agreed, though. Some argued that country communities are generally friendlier, but a few ‘toxic’ towns give them a bad name.
‘About 30 per cent of rural areas have developed pretty toxic norms,’ one wrote.
‘The good are some of the best and most welcoming people you will find (although still vulgar and happy to take the mickey out of you and themselves). The worst are arrogant, racist, insular, and downright nasty.’
One more theorised that many of the ‘good’ young people leave for better opportunities in cities, leaving behind an older, more resistant population.
‘I’ve worked in hundreds of country towns over the past 25 years and the difference in towns only two hours apart can be alarming. A stable population and industry has a massively good effect,’ he said.
‘Towns with transient populations are sh*t, and the people that stay inherently become grouches because they yearn for the old days and are intolerant of change, not including farmers.
‘Most farmers are incredibly generous with their time and knowledge, but won’t put up with fools.’
So, are Australian cities really friendlier than the country towns?
