Tulisa opened up about how she tried to take her own life twice when she was driven to rock bottom after being involved in a drugs sting back in 2013.
The 37 year old appeared on the latest instalment of ITV‘s This Morning to chat to Emma Willis, 49, and Craig Doyle, 54, about her brand new book Tulisa: Judgement, Love, Trials and Tribulations.
In the book she opens up about how she was arrested on suspicion of supplying class A drugs, after then-journalist Mazher Mahmood, also known as the Fake Sheik, tricked her into giving him a contact from which he bought £800 worth of cocaine.
Craig pointed out: ‘There is a really serious side too… This isn’t just about reputation or losing work, or being publicly shamed, and all of those things that have come with this story, but you did attempt to take your own life.’
Tulisa bravely said: ‘I mean I look back on it now and I feel quite detached from it. Even when I read the book, it’s like reading a story about someone else.
‘But that is the point that it brought me to.’
Tulisa revealed that she tried to take her own life twice after being driven to rock bottom after being involved in a drug scandal back in 2013
The 37-year-old appeared on the latest instalment of ITV’s This Morning to chat to Emma Willis, 49, and Craig Doyle, 54, about her brand new book Tulisa: Judgement, Love Trials and Tribulations
Tulisa (pictured) was a judge on The X Factor between for the eighth and the ninth series in 2011 and 2012
‘Sitting in your bathroom with a bottle of vodka and a handful of pills,’ Craig replies to her.
Tulisa explained: ‘So I talk about two attempts, the first attempt was quite light in a sense of I just grabbed a load of pill packets.
‘I was very drunk, and what exactly they were going to do wasn’t sure. Just go for it. I’d had enough.
‘It was actually the second time, which was after the trial had finished.
‘I then had the time to really process everything that had happened.
‘That was the real kicker, and then surviving that… that was a miracle.’
Tulisa claimed there were two main reasons the people who targeted her wanted to take her down a peg – classism and misogny.
‘The whole thing was the most intense, chaotic, dramatic period of my entire life. But there’s a lot of knowledge to be taken,’ she went on.
‘There was misogyny involved, I think there was a lot of classism involved. I think when I came into the industry, expecting as the Camden girl, to be up for and do a lot of things that I wouldn’t. When it was discovered that I wouldn’t play the game, I think I ruffled a lot of feathers of a lot of big wigs in the industry and they thought “We’re going to take her out”.’
Tulisa is leaving no stone unturned in her upcoming autobiography, detailing her battle with addiction, two suicide attempts and her sex tape scandal.
The singer vowed to be ‘brutally honest’ in the tome, titled Judgement: Love, Trials and Tribulations, and has stayed true to her word.
According to The Mirror, the N-Dubz star charts her ‘year from hell’ amid her drug sting trial, which led to two suicide attempts.
She penned of the day she found out she was going to be charged on suspicion of being involved with the supply of Class A drugs: ‘Why is this happening to me?
‘What’s the point in being alive just to be miserable?
‘How am I ever going to find happiness after this?
‘Even if I’m found innocent, I’ll be empty inside by the time I get to the end of it, and my life will be ruined.’
Thankfully, she was found by former best friend Gareth Varey who called an ambulance after finding her in her bathroom surrounded by empty packets of sleeping pills.
While Tulisa was revived, she made a second attempt on her life months later amid her trial, which resulted in her being hospitalised for three days.
Throughout any challenging times, Tulisa would try and comfort herself by locking herself in the bathroom.
She explained: ‘When I was a child, the bathroom was the only room in my house with a lock.
I had always locked myself in there in times of distress, whether it was because my parents were going at it like two bulls in a china shop again, or my mentally ill mother was going off the rails. It had always been my place of safety.
‘And twenty years later, here I was: back lying on the bathroom floor. Deep-rooted issues, I suppose. When the sex tape had come out, I had slept on the bathroom floor for five days.’
Tulisa’s ex Justin Edwards – who she had broken up with in 2009 – released a sex tape of her in 2012 during the height of her fame.
Revenge porn was not illegal at the time, meaning she only managed to get a court apology from him.
Elsewhere in the book, Tulisa also revealed that while she suffered from depression she became addicted to sleeping tablets and benzodiazepines, a habit she broke free from last year after she ‘found her peace and faith’.
Tulisa’s memoir documents her rise to prominence and subsequent fall from grace after being targeted by the disgraced ‘Fake Sheikh’, Mazher Mahmood.
The singer later admitted her life ‘fell apart’ following an elaborate sting that resulted in her being arrested on suspicion of supplying Class A drugs, an accusation she vehemently denied.
As the drama played out in court, Tulisa opted to keep a journal in which she detailed the toll her trial had taken on her personal life, and the devastating impact it had on her career.
Released by Blink Publishing for Bonnier Books UK, Judgement is now available to purchase.
For support, call the Samaritans on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
This Morning airs weekdays from 10am on ITV1 and is available to stream on ITVX.
