An uncomfortable text message exchange between a pregnant employee and her boss regarding a request for maternity leave has sparked an online firestorm.
UK Career Expert Ben Askins regularly shares social media videos calling out questionable workplace behaviour.
But a recent video the author and expert posted recounting an ‘ugly’ response to a pregnant woman’s ‘reasonable’ maternity leave request saw him branding her employer as among ‘the top three of the worst bosses I’ve come across’.
Ben shared the text exchange to his TikTok account in a video that’s since been viewed almost 590,000 times.
The messages started with the pregnant employee confirming that her manager had received her ’email about maternity leave requests for February’.
The boss replied: ‘I saw it, and I wanted to talk to you about it. Is there any way you’d consider reducing how long you want to take? If you are sure you are going to go ahead with it, would you be open to discussing it all. I am just a bit worried about the costs from our side.’
The female employee – clearly stunned by her boss’s reaction – then tried to justify her reason for taking her legally-entitled maternity leave. She even offered to be as helpful as possible to the person who would be temporarily replacing her.
She replied: ‘Oh ok, um I was kind of hoping to take as much time as possible. This is my first child and wanted to get as used to being as parent as possible, especially as my family lives quite far away.’
A boss has been slammed online for his guilt-laden response to a female employee’s reasonable request for maternity leave
‘I will ensure all my responsibilities are handed over seamlessly and help interview for mat cover but I really do want to take the full amount,’ she continued.
However, the uncompromising boss continued to badger his pregnant employee over the ‘burden’ she was allegedly causing by taking maternity leave.
‘The challenge is that this is a small company, and it’s quite a burden to have to pay both your mat leave and your mat cover. I am just not sure how we can cope,’ he replied.
By this point, the pregnant woman continued to politely advocate for her ‘rights’ – even making generous offers to assist her employer while she’s away on leave.
She wrote: ‘I appreciate that but this isn’t fair to put on me, I am happy to support but I am well within my rights to do this.’
‘I will try and support however I can, make sure everything is in place for a smooth handover and can also be on call for emergencies if that helps?’
The worried employee ended the message: ‘Is my pregnancy going to be a problem for my role in the company?’
Most likely aware that he was wading into precarious employment law territory, the boss at this stage tried to downplay the discussion.
The text exchange, shared on British career expert Ben Askins’ TikTok account, has gone viral and sparked fierce discussion about the employer’s unconscionable behaviour
‘Not at all! Your pregnancy is absolutely fine by me, we are a family company,’ he replied.
Nevertheless, he continued to guilt his employee about the maternity leave request.
He continued: ‘[J]ust not ideal timing for me that is all. But if you are not going to help out and reduce the time then nothing really further for us to talk about I guess.’
Employment expert Ben, who is reading aloud the text messages in the social media video, is unable to bite his tongue at various points during the re-telling.
One of his interjections dissected the ‘disgusting’ behaviour of the manager.
Ben was adamant that the boss in this scenario was ‘fully aware of what he’s doing’.
‘He’s trying to use guilt to basically get her to kind of waive her rights [to take the full length of maternity leave]… because you can then sort of go, ‘Oh no, she agreed with it’.
The workplace commentator added that the woman’s request was entirely ‘reasonable’ and noted that she went above and beyond with offers of additional assistance as far as recruitment for her replacement and handover.
UK Career Expert Ben Askins, who regularly shares social media videos calling out questionable workplace behaviour, described the employer in this situation as among the ‘the top three of the worst bosses I’ve come across’
Ultimately, Ben said it was not the woman’s ‘problem’ that the business may struggle financially with her leave entitlement – and that it’s her right as a company employee to take maternity leave.
‘That is not her f***ing problem, that is your problem,’ he said. ‘If she’s not an equity holder, she’s not a director in the business, it’s not her company, that is a YOUR problem.’
The video has attracted nearly a thousand comments – many of them outraged by the employer’s unconscionable behaviour.
‘This is the kind of boss that makes you start looking for another job while you’re on leave,’ read one reply.
‘She should not even have to justify anything,’ added another.
‘The gaslighting and guilt is beyond diabolical,’ chimed in a third.
Many of the comments were also aggrieved by the manipulative language used by the manager in his text messages.
One commenter wrote: ‘”Not ideal timing for me.” Yea, I mean sheesh, couldn’t think of your boss while conceiving your baby?’
Some of the comments on the TikTok video suggested that the pregnant employee in this situation could potentially take legal action against their employer. (Image: stock photo)
Another boldly questioned: ‘Did they just suggest she get an abortion for the sake of the company’s bottom line?!?’
A third added: ‘”If you’re not going to help out” is an insane thing to say especially after she already stated she’s more than happy to arrange cover and everything else before she leaves.’
It was unclear from the messages what jurisdiction the worker was in, but many commenters noted that maternity leave was a legal employment right in several countries – including Australia – and that she may have grounds to take legal action against her employer.
‘Wow….. save this, go to an employer lawyer. Get settlement, enjoy!’ read one reply.
Another wrote: ‘This is a slam dunk mat discrimination case. Employers need to understand that claim awards are potentially unlimited.’
Unfortunately, it also appeared that this exchange was not an isolated incident with many commenters piping up to share their own horror story responses to previous maternity leave requests.
‘I had a line manager refuse to discuss it with me because “your baby could still die right up until the end”‘, read one jaw-dropping comment.
‘My old manager tried to convince me to have an abortion… they wondered why I didn’t want to go back after having my baby,’ read another wild reply.
Worryingly, comments on the TikTok video saw other female workers recount their own stories about the reaction to their requests for maternity leave (Image: stock photo)
Another person wrote: ‘My old boss tried to tell me I only got half maternity time with my second child cos I’d already done the full maternity bonding time with my first.’
While many comments were outraged by the boss’s responses, there were a small chorus claiming to understand where the employer was coming from.
‘Whilst he’s being improper, you can’t avoid the fact that small companies will avoid employing women of childbearing age to reduce costs,’ read one reply.
‘For small businesses, maternity leave – even if protected by law – can have a massive impact on the company, especially if it’s not performing well financially,’ read part of another comment.
Another contributed: ‘[S]o many companies like this don’t like hiring young women because the potential for taking maternity leave is high.’
A disheartened female worker responded to the viral video with a defeated comment that attracted over 1,600 likes.
The woman wrote: ‘We’re judged by society if we don’t want kids and then punished by work when we do. We’re judged for working 9-5 and having a career with kids but then also judged if we stay home full time with kids. Women can’t win.’
In Australia, the Paid Parental Leave scheme is managed by Services Australia and provides financial support to eligible working parents to take time off work to care for a newborn or recently adopted child.
Some employees will receive parental leave payments from the Australian Government Parental Leave Pay, while others will receive employer funded parental leave payments. In some instances, a person may receive both.
According to the Fair Work Act, all employees in Australia are eligible for up to 12 months unpaid parental leave if they have completed at least 12 months of continuous service with their employer.
