Forget the fire pit, kitchen and croquet set, your garden isn’t truly posh unless it has an outdoor bath.
Fashion influencer Molly Gunn has championed the trend, recently posting a selfie in her outdoor tub on Instagram. Here’s how to know whether your garden shapes up.
Outdoor kitchen
Your Smeg fridge, Aga range and solid wood cabinetry count for nothing if you don’t have an outside kitchen.
‘Outdoor kitchens are very cool,’ says Liv Conlon, CEO of The Property Stagers, who styles homes and gardens to sell.
‘It should feel like an extension of the home, in stone, wood and weatherproof materials. The goal is David and Victoria Beckham‘s – sleek stone, stainless steel and a wood-fired oven.’
We like Grillo’s kitchens, from £2,940, grilloliving.com.
Terrace, not patio…
Dubbing your paved area a ‘patio’, is a faux pas – it’s always a terrace. And you need several. You should have two outdoor entertaining and seating areas – one for morning coffee and a larger one for al fresco dining and entertaining,’ says horticulturalist Claire Mitchell, aka The Garden Editor.
Wildflower meadow
The King has a meadow at Highgrove – don’t you? ‘We’re experiencing growing demand for naturalistic planting and large wildflower meadows,’ says Mitchell.
Freestanding bath
Turn your garden into a ‘spa-den’, with an outdoor tin bath, which are replacing the outdated hot tub
Turn your garden into a ‘spa-den’, with outdoor baths the new hot tubs. You can use an old bath, or a fancy freestanding one, and plumb it, or attach a hose to a hot water tap.
‘It’s the best £250 you can spend on your mental health,’ said Molly, whose tub cost £100 on eBay, plus plumbing.
‘A posh garden used to mean a swimming pool, or tennis court,’ says Mitchell.
But now, she says, demand is for swimming ponds and bathtubs. However, she does worry about the practicalities, especially with pets.
‘How is it going to be kept clean? I’d think twice before you invest in what might become a posh dog spa,’ she says.
Still, they look good. Check out the freestanding tin bath by Indigenous, £2,997, indigenous.co.uk.
Tiered gardens
Bonus points if you know what a ha-ha is – and ha-ha, if you don’t have one. Estates have long incorporated tiers, with a low wall, or ha-ha.
‘Posh gardens look natural, but a lot of work goes into them, with tiered levels, bespoke borders and stone paving (not concrete slabs),’ says Conlon. ‘Planting is structured but wild-looking – similar to Soho Farmhouse cottage garden.’
Summerhouse
The Chelsea Shed, £4,999, a mini one for repotting the Chelsea Flower Show’s plant of the year, Philadelphus Petite Perfume Pink
You may own a summerhouse, gazebo, garden temple, studio or, at a push, home office – but never a shed.
Similarly, it’s a glasshouse, never greenhouse, or if you are very posh, an orangery.
It can only be a shed if it’s a mini one, for repotting Chelsea’s plant of the year, Philadelphus Petite Perfume Pink, like the Chelsea Shed, £4,999, theposhshedcompany.co.uk.
Natural furniture
Upmarket gardens have mis-matched furniture in stone, rattan, wood and metal. Ideally it’s not L-shaped but curved, says Conlon.
‘Matching plastic furniture is an immediate no, especially in bright colours, as are the cheap, grey rattan table and chairs everyone panic-bought in lockdown,’ she says.
FIVE COMMON SINS
Too-tidy borders
Proud of your bedding plants, around your perfect lawn? Not chic, darling. Posh gardens have wide borders, packed with plants, with no visible room between them. ‘I hate narrow borders around the edges of a garden – I call them ‘coffins of death’, as it’s hard to grow anything,’ says Mitchell.
Fake grass
Plastic grass is a sin and the idea it’s low-maintenance, a fallacy. It requires ‘a fair deal of maintenance, not to mention the environmental cost’, says Mitchell.
She recommends ‘gravel gardens’, which are ‘fine for dogs, so long as you get decent-sized gravel, tough lawn seed mixes, or permeable paving’.
Oval hanging chairs
They look pretty on social media, but egg-shaped hanging chairs are over. And they aren’t very sociable or comfortable
All the rage in lockdown and they look pretty on social media, but egg-shaped hanging chairs are over.
‘Spectacular to look at but they aren’t very sociable, or comfortable,’ says Mitchell.
‘Plus, if you haven’t space to store this inside, you’ll need to cover it in the winter, which can look like a large grey lump.’
Plastic pots
Hanging baskets may look pretty, adding joyful splashes of colour but – deep breath – have you ever see one outside a stately pile?
According to etiquette expert William Hanson, hanging baskets are de trop. They have been usurped by planters and pots, but only in natural materials, such as wood, stone or terracotta. We like terracotta plant pots, from £2.50, dobbies.com.
Inflatable hot tubs
Sorry to pop your party bubble, but you need to deflate that hot tub.
‘They have a place if they’re built into the space properly, but the party-vibe inflatable ones are over,’ says Conlon. ‘We’re now aiming for calm, wellness-focused outdoor spaces – not neon-lit splash zones,’ she says.
