Was there a wedding crasher at the Bezos-Sanchez nuptials?
A mystery man was snapped boarding a water taxi among a gaggle of A-listers headed to the highly anticipated ceremony on Friday, his face covertly shielded by the bill of a black baseball cap like a convenience store shoplifter attempting to evade security cameras.
But it wasn’t a stowaway nor a common thief sailing on the Venetian canals this week (though, it was a crime to pair a Los Angeles Dodgers hat with a designer tux).
It was Leonardo DiCaprio!
The self-proclaimed climate change warrior jetted to Venice – alongside a fleet of high-profile guests on carbon-emitting private planes – for Amazon tycoon Jeff Bezos and former journo Lauren Sanchez‘s opulent Italian wedding.
But the 50-year-old DiCaprio has yet to really show his face.
Dressed head-to-toe in an all-black ensemble – including a matching face mask, baseball hat and zip-up with the hood pulled over his head – Leo touched down in the Floating City on Thursday looking as if he were working undercover.
The black baseball hat, emblazoned with the Los Angeles Dodgers logo, was not removed for the lavish festivities.
The hat was pulled so low it appeared to cover Leo’s eyes.
Dressed head-to-toe in an all-black ensemble – including a matching face mask, baseball hat and zip-up with the hood pulled over his head – Leo touched down in the Floating City on Thursday looking as if he were working undercover.
Surely, you’d think, he would ditch the casual cap for the rest of the lavish festivities.
Nope.
It was a sartorial monstrosity.
The bill of the black hat pulled so low that it appeared to brush the bridge of his nose as he was helped onto the boat by an attendant – presumably because he couldn’t see.
While it was an improvement from his 2013 trip to Venice – during which he wore a literal black shield and appeared to be reprising his 1998 role as the Man in the Iron Mask – he has one of the most recognizable mugs in Hollywood.
Even a wide-brimmed hat could hide that.
Let’s face it, Leo. We all know it’s you. We’d recognize that conspicuous attempt to fly under the radar anywhere.
What are you hiding, then, botched hair plugs? Or are you convinced that the world media has descended on Venice to photograph you.
Time for a tough love chat.
Leo – you’re hardly the most important person in the room this weekend – a scenario that, perhaps, is a rarity for the Hollywood star.
Guests include seven-time Super Bowl champion Tom Brady, First Daughter Ivanka Trump, tech magnate Bill Gates, newly single actor Orlando Bloom, Oprah Winfrey and Usher.
Leo, did you really think you’d upstage five Kardashian-Jenners, let alone the newlyweds?
What are you hiding, then, botched hair plugs? Or are you convinced that the world media has descended on Venice to photograph you.
Leo, did you really think you’d upstage five Kardashian-Jenners, let alone the newlyweds?
The bill of the black hat pulled so low that it appeared to brush the bridge of his nose as he was helped onto the boat by an attendant – presumably because he couldn’t see.
It would be impossible to eclipse the spectacle of Sanchez’s designer-adorned décolletage. (On Thursday, she shuffled aboard a water taxi en route to her pre-wedding event cinched in a shimmering Schiaparelli number with a bodice so tight it’s a wonder she could breathe.)
But Leo’s humiliating attempt to be incognito is fitting for a man who has, from a young age, admitted that his star power has gone to his head.
When he was just 29, he told Vanity Fair: ‘You get a false sense of your own importance and what you’ve accomplished. You actually think you’ve altered the course of history.’
Careful, Leo, if that hat doesn’t make you trip on your own two feet, you’ll certainly stumble over that enormous ego of yours.
Is this why he only – until very recently – seemed to only date women under the age of 25? They share the same level of emotional maturity.
Alexa, play ‘Manchild’ by Sabrina Carpenter.
Maybe Leo’s latest love is a change in the right direction. Supermodel Vittoria Ceretti, 27, exuded glamour in a backless dress with ruffled shoulder details at the Thursday evening rehearsal dinner. On Friday, she wowed in a chic black gown and glittering jewels.
Too bad she had slouchy Leo on her arm.
Indeed, these days, he’s hardly ever seen in public without covering his head or face – galas, basketball games, tropical getaways – but it clearly doesn’t work if the paparazzi can spot you a mile away. Leo’s ill-fitted cap, however, only drew more attention to the actor, who should probably reconsider his career on the big screen being so lens averse.
But at the so-called ‘wedding of the century,’ that should be the first place he’d expect swarms of shutterbugs.
So Leo, grow up.
And mind the canal, would you?
